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I'll be honest, sometimes I just don't have it together. Actually, if I'm really really honest, I haven't felt like I've had it together for the past three years. So much has happened that has transformed my life into a completely new one. The same people that were around are no longer here, my career is totally different from what I've imagined, my hair doesn't even look the same... I've felt so out of order and often pray and wonder,"When will this tiresome season move on?"
It's tough to think about, because you partially feel like it's all your fault. And then you start to wonder if you deserve to be saved from the trouble, then you start to think your prayers are falling through the floor. 😔 UGH. Can this human experience be just a little bit better?
The more I grow or go through this season, (not sure which one I'm doing at this point but God says all things are working for my good if I love Him so let's go with GROW) I'm being more honest and upfront with God. I mean, that's all I've got...HE'S all I've got. I'm at the crossroads of my mess and I just want to walk with God through it.
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"casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully]." - 1 Peter 5:7 AMP
You may feel like you're left all alone to figure this out, but you are not. I had to remember that no matter how far left I've gone, God can get me right.
So what can you start doing now that you are aware you don't have it all together?
- Return to God with all of your heart in prayer (Joel 2:12)
- Praise Him and thank Him for His faithfulness in your unfaithfulness (Jeremiah 31:3)
- Don't concern yourself with things your human mind can't understand (Psalms 131)
- Continue to study, internalize, and obey scripture one day at a time.
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