We're rarely honest about the areas in our lives where we turn God off. And we all have these moments at some point; to say we don't is to deny our humanity. We really can't pretend like everything God says and does gives us great feelings. Our parents have often upset us when raising us even though they probably meant well. God is pretty much the same way.

 So, there's this area of my life where I didn't realize I was growing a hardened heart, or growing cold per say. I cringed every time it was brought up, or I'd try to scroll past it really fast if I saw it online. Like I was basically covering my ears like this 😅 

via GIPHY


When it came to relationships, dating, and marriage...this is me. There's a lot of talk around town concerning relationships, it's apart of life! After my divorce was final on my birthday last year, I never wanted to discuss this side of life again. It was normal to feel this way and quite expected after experiencing such heartache. Divorce is a tough one to get over, especially when you're the one who didn't want it. So I told myself I'd take a break from any relationship advice, songs, movies, ministries, memes, you name it! I wanted a hiatus. I'm sure God understood this, I mean it was He who called me to live in peace after everything.

I thought this was a healthy decision, to an extent, it was. But things started happening inside of me, I became aware of how I really felt about it, moving forward. I would cringe at advice, if I saw something about cultivating a healthy marriage, I'd agree, but I felt some type of way about it. It just left a bad taste in my mouth, in my heart. I felt anxiety, regret, and sometimes I feel unworthy... My little 'hiatus' was becoming a disguise for pain. My heart was hardening the more I avoided this area.

What parts of your life have you been avoiding and writing off? What's that painful spot in your heart that's too sensitive to talk about? Have you been avoiding something?

"Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, don't think you are better than you really are." (New Living Translation)

And if I am honest, when it comes to this area of relationships, I am the weakest link, and my heart was becoming hardened. I have not been so careful with my heart even after the fact... I'll be the first to admit that I NEED GOD'S HELP. What about you? The good news is, once we are honest and acknowledge our weakness, God is able to reach into that weakness and restore. He has a plan to restore every dead area inside of us. He just wants our honesty.

It is only when we confess our sins that we can be forgiven and healed as stated in James 5:16 and 1 John 1:9. But as long as our hearts are hardened, we lose our understanding and we literally shut out our healing.

For this nation’s heart has grown hard,And with their ears they hardly hear,And they have [tightly] closed their eyes,Otherwise they would see with their eyes,And hear with their ears,And understand with their heart, and turn [to Me]And I would heal them [spiritually].’- Matthew 13:15

I encourage you to be honest in your evaluation now, confess your sin, and when God calls...harden not your heart before Him. He is eager to give us a new heart.

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Troubled Relationships

Disclaimer:  The statements below are not mere opinions, but facts from the Good Book. If you do not want to know the truth, Do Not Open. If opened and read, I am not responsible for any debates, anger, broken relationships, or animosity. Please take that up with the Lord our God. :)

In our modern world today, we can all agree there is SO MUCH going on, some of it being out of our control; MOST of it is. I am not one to judge, but one to bring light to those around me. After all, isn't that the task given to us by Christ Jesus? (Matthew 16:15)

What is a relationship? It is the state of being connected (related, parallel, linked). It bonds two people together, humanly speaking. But what kind of bond should we have? The world today makes relationships something disturbing, invalid, and immoral. Should I elaborate? I really don't have to because we see it and live it everyday...YOU NAME IT.

There has been some controversy about what should happen in a relationship, or what the ideal relationship should be like. I will display two different views in the form of a lie and one in the form of TRUTH.

Worldly Lies: have sex to express your love, move in to test it out, share all of your secrets, do everything married people do before you even get married.

Truth: wait until you are married to express your love through sex (1 Corinthians 7:1-3), wait until you are married to move in together for this is God's design (Genesis 2:24), avoid temptation and fornication with one another. (Proverbs 5)

God has a beautiful design for relationships and marriage. If we trust  Him to work everything out and stop trying to work them out ourselves, we will experience this beauty. (Jeremiah 29:11) We don't have to move in together to "test" each other out, we don't have to have sex, we don't have to completely give ourselves away to anyone but the Lord. My favorite quote I've read is, "A woman should be so wrapped up in the Lord  and praising God, that a man will have to go to the Lord to find her there." I think we forget that we are not alone to figure all of this out!! We don't have to be unsure, heartbroken, and lost, that is something you choose! God knows what he has for us just as Jeremiah 29 says. There has also been some controversy about "praising boyfriends". As the quote says, you should be praising God. It's OK to be thankful for your boyfriend, but think about why you're doing it... is it because of the worldly lies? Your boyfriend isn't obligated to do anything for you except pay for all of the dates and show you why he's good enough to be your husband. A boyfriend should not be providing you a place to stay, a car to drive, giving you sex when you ask...NO. That is not God's design, when you are dating you should be getting to know each other as well as growing to LOVE each other respectfully that will lead into marriage. Don't give your boyfriend/girlfriend a spouse role, what is the point in marrying them if you already have it all? He is not your "everything". Remember God is a jealous God and will destroy anything in his way!! (Exodus 34:14) God's design for love is wonderful, holy, and thriving experience and it has deep symbolism but that is for another post. ;)

Am I saying that I've done everything right? Of course not! There are some who have and I commend them for their righteousness. The Lord has saved me from my sin and worldly desires. Yes! If you want it, he will save you too! (John 3:17) You can turn from the worldly lies and sin and be transformed into a new person and you will receive the plan God has for you! (Romans 12:2) After all, we don't know the hour he returns (Mark 13:32-33) and we want our souls to be right!

Be careful where you get your advice, be careful who you are listening to! God's design is the BEST design. God bless you! (There's more to this story!! The scriptures above are only a small piece of God's word. Want to read more? view: Proverbs 5, 1 Corinthians 7, 1 Corin. 6:9-20.